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Sexual HEALING or "Holy" Erotics - Women Be Warned!

With the new wave of consciousness and spiritual enlightenment came the "evil" twin. Many of us are having a lot of trouble telling one from the other. In our excitement and ignorance, we are trampling and adulterating the very same sacred traditions we are trying to honor.

I especially want to caution my fellow women to be very weary of the SOBs disguised as Sacred Sexual Healers. I am not saying all of the healers out there are fakes, but check the person out thoroughly before you ever think of allowing anyone to take advantage of your vulnerability. I've worked with women who've been enticed into all sorts of sexual exploits in the name of sexual healing, sacred sex or spiritual elevation only to end up with sexually transmitted diseases and broken hearts. This is no joke.

See, one of my clients told me about a holistic healer whom since I was black and into holistic work, she figured out I might know him. She told me, the brother says he can help women with infertility, sexual problems and childhood sexual abuse issues etc. I trained in trauma counselling specializing in childhood sexual abuse and related adult issues, I had to see this holistic healer for myself, may be learn a few things from him.

I found the place to be a small downtown hideout with two rooms. In one, the brother sees clients and from the consultation room you can see through the open door into the other room which basically has a tiny bed all decked out in very expensive "African" themed decor; leopard , zebra, giraffe etc - stunning!. The "sexual healer" himself is damn good looking; a dark tall lean angular figure, alert piercing eyes and set of perfect milk-white teeth against a coal black gum which makes his smile so mesmerizing. No wonder he has a stream of female clients - all races. As soon as I settled down on the mat in front of him, the brother started telling me all about "sexual difficulties. Now that is a real joke, because anyone, knows me also knows that with me, sex and difficult can't go in the same sentence. I told the brother, "no problem there". So he started something about my childhood sexual abuse and stuff. I told him I had never been abused as I child but he insisted I just don't remember it and that it was hidden somewhere in my brain. I told him where I come from child abuse is a curse, a taboo punishable by death of the person, his family and whole clan - I would have heard about it if something like that had happened on my account. He told me it was in my past life - another place and time - and that this was my fifth time round on earth. Now, I do not dispute this past lives theory, at least I am honest to say I don't know anything about it but I do not necessarily care for it either. I think the real reason I was willing to listen to all that bull for over 15 minutes was not because of curiosity about my past lives but because of what the brother was doing to me in the NOW.

See, the "diagnosis process" involves touching in the places that can get a woman's heart pumping chaotically - at least a red blooded woman. After about 10 minutes of his magic touch, and may be because I had closed my eyes and started day dreaming - about my boyfriend, he thought he had me because he invited me to the little bed to get my "treatment". You could have heard a pin drop in the brief seconds before I went "native", "rural" or "emotional" whatever you want to call it. All the so called "civilized" came off like a cheap polyster coat. I let the brother have it the way we do it in the village, except of course lifting my dress up and cursing him with my nakedness. I called him any name that came to my head and basically told the brother to go to "hell" which is where he belongs! I am sure that brother had never seen anything like that in his entire life because he was cowering in the corner when I left and I was still cursing when I got onto the street car. "Ssexual healing" my hide!

And there are some others who are running huge sex-trade operations in the name of holistic centers. Some of these are run by men pretending to be "gay" only to end up feeling you up, and their frontal limp biscuits give them away. The list and the depths to which some people can stoop!

Hypocrisy towards sex has created an obsession about sex that borders the absurd. On the one hand, we have an innate need for peak experiences of bliss, oneness, and ecstasy but on the other hand we are also embarrassed and ashamed of our sexed being and sexual desires. I know - and you probably do too - of people who secretly enjoy the sexual urges within themselves, try kinky stuff, use porn to get off, drink aphrodisiacs and have a little some-some hidden away in a drawer somewhere but will not openly admit that they enjoy sex. They'd rather drool over pornographic material but deny their own sexual nature.

Our present obsession with "holy bonking" is just another frantic effort to justify why we should have more sex in our lives, however, it does not easily heal the split of mind and body nor does it make sex more spiritual (or sacred). For crying aloud's sake, one does not have to be in an expanded stated of mind to passionately kiss one's wife or husband or massage a lover's feet. Of course if you are in that state that would be absolutely wonderful. What I am saying is that, even if well intentioned, our latest obsession with the sacredness of sex is more of a function of the ego and of the logical mind rather than an intuitive or direct awareness of the sacred patterns running through everything around us. Besides, over spiritualizing sex at a logical and intellectual level can anaesthetize the sexual experience by obstructing the natural inner flow which knows the best way intuitively.

If we gave sex its rightful place in all aspects of our daily lives, we might make our society more vibrant and nurturing instead of being a fertile ground for profound inhibitions and all sorts of collective obsessions.

About the Author

Christine Akiteng is an internationally renown Dating Coach with a unique and fresh outlook to what love is really about and what we can expect from our sexual relations. If you enjoyed reading this article check out Christine's Website: www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com for more: The Sweet Smell Of Sexcess, Your Sexual Style Could Be Hurting Your Relationships, The Best Sex Is Spontaneous Sex!, Sex - Is Yours Waist Up Or Waist Down?

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